Wilson: "I hate Japan, but I don't know why. I think Chinese schools washed  my brain."

Shepard: "Everyone says it's too dangerous to travel to XinJiang because of all the terrorism."

Me: "So, is it more dangerous for foreigners to travel there, or do they only target Chinese?"

Shepard: "They don't care if you're foreign. Everyone has equal opportunity to die in XinJiang."

Shepard: "I can speak English, I can talk to you today because I'm a failure. Failure is the mother of success."

 

Wilson: "Chinese dragons are different than Western ones. You guys have big, fat dragons that breathe fire. Chinese dragons are long and breathe rain."

{For further clarification, Chinese dragons don't have wings, but that doesn't mean they can't fly. They "swim through the air," like snakes swimming through water. And when they breathe rain, it's enough to cause a flood.}

Candy: "I am always so excited for winter to come so I can wear my short skirts and cute dresses instead of pants!"

Me: "What? Isn't it the other way around?"

Candy: "No! I have to wear pants in the summer so I don't get tan. But during the winter, the sun isn't as strong so I can wear all my cute little skirts!"

Candy: "Do you want to try a piece of my blood?"
Me: "Of your what?"

Candy: "My blood! I know, it looks like meat, but it's chicken blood. It's good for you. It helps clean the dust out of your body."

 

 

Me: "So what will you do this afternoon?"

 

Otto: "Wait for dinner!"