Wilson: "Chinese dragons are different than Western ones. You guys have big, fat dragons that breathe fire. Chinese dragons are long and breathe rain."

{For further clarification, Chinese dragons don't have wings, but that doesn't mean they can't fly. They "swim through the air," like snakes swimming through water. And when they breathe rain, it's enough to cause a flood.}

Candy: "I am always so excited for winter to come so I can wear my short skirts and cute dresses instead of pants!"

Me: "What? Isn't it the other way around?"

Candy: "No! I have to wear pants in the summer so I don't get tan. But during the winter, the sun isn't as strong so I can wear all my cute little skirts!"

Candy: "Do you want to try a piece of my blood?"
Me: "Of your what?"

Candy: "My blood! I know, it looks like meat, but it's chicken blood. It's good for you. It helps clean the dust out of your body."

 

 

Me: "So what will you do this afternoon?"

 

Otto: "Wait for dinner!"



Tony: "I know a lot of people with strange names. Like, one kid, whose name means 'Legendary fool,' and another whose name means 'Love mountain and water,' and another whose name sounds like 'Good-smelling poop.' And I think, 'Why did their parents name them that?'"

Shepard: "I'm tired, guys."

Alison: "I'm sorry! Want us to speak in Chinese so you don't have to think so much? {Gibberish} {Apparently}

Shepard: "No. Just speak in English. It's easier to understand a foreign language rather than a bad version of my own."

 

Alison: "Oh, look. I found bark in my food."