Alison: "You want a quote? The sky is a delicious blue pumpernickel bursting with fluffy white marshmallows."

{So Brian is really Westernized, and when I asked him if I could take a picture for my Humans of New York spin-off blog, he knew the drill. After a moment of brainstorming about what to say . . .}
Brian: "Ah, just say 'Me and my boss. We are the best partners!'"

Brian: "Can you go a Chinese eye doctor? Like, does it work?"

 

Me: "Of course! I mean, the quiz is a little different, but it's ok."

 

Brian: "But your eyes are a different color than ours!"

 

Brian: "All the Chinese girls are obsessed with my skin. Strangers come up to me all the time and ask me how I keep my skin so white. I don't know! I'm not a girl! I don't care about skin care! But, when I was young, my dad made me drink a spoonful of black vinegar every day to keep my skin white. Maybe that's why I'm white. But I don't think so."

Ray: "Robert. I think it's a very strange name. What is his profession? It sounds like he's a robber."

Ray: "We have an animal that goes under your skin and sucks your blood. You have to just hit the skin to get it out or it will die inside you. But, I've heard it's a legend."

Ray: "Your hair is curvy, like grass on the ground."

Ray: "Chinese love peace. That's why we have chopsticks. Forks and knives are violent."

Me: "But, if I stab you in the ear with a chopstick, you will die."

Alison: "Why not in the eye?"

Ray: "Because my eyes are too small for you to get that in my eye."

{Asian jokes!}